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Hopkin Looking To Curl One…

A regular blog dedicated to Crystal Palace Football Club through the eyes of a fanatical supporter, contemplating everything from results to the colour of Stuart O'Keefe's boot laces…

Archive for the month “February, 2012”

It’s My Party And I’ll Score If I Want To!

Darren Ambrose, husband, father and scorer of worldies is 7 today. To commemorate Dazza’s special day, the club have laid on a birthday extravaganza for him and all his team mates, the details of which can be found below:

11 AM: Following the conclusion of training, the squad will be entertained in the canteen by Paul Hart, who will use his expert balloon modelling skills to make whatever animals the lads desire. Special extra large ones have been ordered for Joniesta in anticipation of his request for a dinosaur.

12:30 PM: The training pitch will be the venue for the “Alan Mullery Experience” where the boys will be allowed/encouraged to throw/kick whatever they can find at Alan, who will be put in comedy style stocks for the duration.

1:30 PM: A lunch of chicken drumsticks, turkey twizzlers, smiley faces, and beans, followed by jelly and ice cream will be served to the boys.

2:15 PM: Following lunch, the squad will be entertained by comedy duo Neil Warnock and side-kick Keith Curle. They will regail the boys with jokes, wisecracks and tales of yesteryear. The club was unsure if it was a good idea to begin with, but after Neil was quoted as saying he’d “Always wanted to be a stand-up comic since he was only a nipper.” The club gave in to his wishes.

2:45 PM: The celebrations will be rounded off by Shefki Kuqi making a guest appearance to play the lead role in a game of “Pin The Tail On The Donkey”, although he has already been warned that if he decides to flick any of the lads the V sign for putting the pin in too deep, he’ll be out before his feet touch the ground.

3:00 PM: Home time. The players will be picked by their parents/child minders at the front gate.

"I told you I'd hit Mullery on the head!"

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The Mirror Are At It Again…

It’s quite likely that yesterday was a slow one for genuine news in The Mirror’s sport department. With England playing this evening, the usual generic press conferences from club managers have dried up, leaving lots of usually occupied sports hacks to examine the point of their very existence, and in some cases, play a game of “Absolute Balderdash – Championship Transfer Edition.”

According to this article, written by that household name of sporting journalism, Alan Nixon, Bristol City are ready to come, cap in hand to us, to ask about the possibility of taking Sean Scannell on loan for the rest of the season.

The main reasoning given for the proposed move is that Sean is currently out of Dougie’s plans, a curious view to take given that he has featured in five of our last six fixtures, with the only game he didn’t appear in having been against Bristol themselves.

There are two ways of taking this news, the first being that there is absolutely no foundation to the story whatsoever, and that Mr Nixon has dreamt it up whilst sitting at his kitchen table, alone.

The other possibility of course, is that Derek McInnes actually thought it was feasible to ask about Sean’s availability and get a positive answer.

Why the club,  who reportedly turned down a bid in excess on £1 million from Huddersfield in January for Scannell, would suddenly think it was a good idea to let a first team regular go and help a club who are in the same division as us is anyone’s guess.

All I will say, is that McInnes still selects David James on a regular basis, despite the keeper now being the ripe old age of 69, so his mental stability could quite feasibly be called into question, still, you can’t fault his optimism.

"I have no concept of reality whatsoever..."

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